By Kevis Hendrickson
Zyra Zanr is the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy. Criminals everywhere cower at her name. During the attempt to capture a notorious fugitive, she stumbles onto a conspiracy to murder the senators of the InterGalactic Alliance. Behind this plot is a clandestine force seeking to destroy not only the InterGalactic Alliance, but mankind as well.
War looms on the horizon as Zyra collides with this deadly force threatening to rock the very foundations of time and space. Zyra’s quest to uncover the mastermind behind this plot will pit her against an evil menace beyond her wildest imagination. Only Zyra can save humanity from an impending holocaust. Victory will mean the salvation of the human race. Failure will mean the end of all that Zyra holds dear. The battle for the future has begun!
For an amateur attempt at a fast paced sci-fi fantasy novel, I’m quite impressed. The setting, characters, and plots are realistic. This author has hatched an idea that seems to well with the character’s personality from the movie, Violet. Zyra is robust in her attitude toward life and her abilities to capture the bad guys are impressive, and the best part of this book is that it’s wrapped up in mystery. No one knows exactly why the monsters attacked Hel-ship II and she needs to try her best in finding out. The second most interesting part of the book is the acquaintances she makes and uses to accomplish her own means (e.g. Captain Jack and Logos). With the suggestive tweaks for the book, I’m quite positive this book will become something similar to Halo.
Zyra has a really good personality. She’s smart, smooth, and definitely robust. Did I also forget to mention that she looks incredibly attractive? Somewhere along the beginning where I had first encountered the author’s work, I wanted to ask him about the inspirations for this character. The features used to illustrate Zyra remind me of a Starburst Candy bust featured in a commercial (and as seen above). Although the author might not think of her in that light, I do and that is one very positive way to keep my interests with a girl as the main character. Of course, I could always ask how much bigger can Zyra’s breasts get. Sometimes it seems as if her boobs are the only biggest things that are worth staring in the cover image.
The Really Good:
Apart from my sense of humor, I have to admit that Kevis has shown the marks of a true author by a display of his honesty and humility. I could not wrap my mind around how other self-proclaimed authors get when they show their sense of ingratitude by making posts about the unfairness of my reviews. Granted, some of these reviews are honest and sometimes crude, I would have to say that Kevis has done a tremendously good job by being patient and kind. Beside the humility, I have to say that there are fine balances that the author has struck that do not immediately come natural to the writer. For starters, the novel possesses a strong sense of rhythm and good pace throughout the story. At least there are no dozens of pages that flow with just ‘dialogue’ and little plot line. This has been well established in the first few chapters.
There are a couple of things that need some final tweaking that comes throughout the plot and I believe they fall into two categories: format and style. For starters, I think the book needs some page numbers. In almost every physical and electronic copy of a book, there have always these markers to know where the reader is at so this way he is not lost in the book. I think I am beginning to grow weary about this because it’s exhaustively irritating when nothing indicates where the author is at. With italics and bold, there needs to be a use of moderation, not excessiveness. When you start highlighting scores of paragraphs that are featured with either italics or bold, it gets really tiring. The only purposes for those tools are to make an emphasis on a particular point. I completely understand the need to make a bad guy profile but there are many different ways to make the readers less wary of using the italics. You can use different fonts to make that achievable so there is a distinctive difference.
Whenever you got a 213 page novel with 8.5 X 11” paper measurement and in a PDF file format, you’re bound to make the book long and boring if the novel is featured single spaced. I have had that mixture of feelings between both wanting to go on and wanting to get off. The book really needs to have an even amount of spacing between the lines and paragraphs that will make the book more readable without having to go through the stress. These are one of the key elements in good printing, exercising the right amount of space for the reader.
Without taking these things to heart, you are going to give the reader a feeling of frustration because the book is featured in a format that does not look either appealing or refreshing; it looks like a cell phone contract! Nevertheless, there is another area that I think needs some slight tweaking which is the style. I think the linguistic terminology you use for a futuristic story line is GREAT! I love the analogies and terms you use in the whole book even the opening line from the lousy answering machine is imaginative. The biggest problems I’m having are these:
1. Too much choppy dialogue– you need to make some of the things run smooth. Zyra does not have the time to flirt with other men, especially when she’s looking for something. I can definitely imagine her heroism throughout the book. Your character has a very similar personality to an Angelina Jolie personality (from Tomb Raider). The other thing I would also recommend is that you attempt to provide the reader some dialogue tags so this way he or she can keep track of knowing who on earth is doing all the talking.
2. Better word choices– Ok, Zyra’s beauty does make her seem like some type of ‘ancient earth goddess’ but that’s not good enough to describe her. Why use an actual goddess name like Aphrodite? I think someone will get it, if you make a reference to the birth of Venus painting. If someone doesn’t, just explain the details a little bit. You also need to cut back on some of the jargon that’s being used- you need better nicknames (e.g. ‘hexagonal colonies’, just call them hex colonies). We live in an age where almost every technical term for some word has its abbreviations like facsimile (FAX), electronic mail (e-mail), or even world wide web (www). This is the direction you got to play from.
3. More character description- I know this sounds a bit redundant, but in Sci-Fi we need to know about the cultures that we are immersing ourselves in. If you listen to Star Wars carefully, you know about the kinds of people that are being introduced in the movie. Since we can’t afford to see the picture of this woman and her future epic, I want to point out that you need to make this clearer in the books. You have done this with most of your characters, but I have noticed there were a few words that the mayor had occasionally said which I had no clue (e.g. Arlarions, Ratarians, Draeds). Who are these people?
Apart from those major issues, I still think your book is a really good.
Parker’s Final Grade: