Recently, I have been thinking lately on what to do with all those Self-Published authors who made it to the ‘Spare Me Nots’ folder on my desktop. Usually, I throw almost every PDF file in there from wannabe authors whose books are not worth giving a second glance. These are not the ones I would call ‘readable’ not because of some formidable taste that I have against a particular genre or author, but simply because it’s unreadable i.e., too many spelling errors, cuss words, sexual content, etc. They’re the ones that make you wanna cringe when it comes to serious reading.
Although some of these authors attempt their hardest to get their names out there, the way they go about it really isn’t enough. Not to mention that none of them have actually put the sweat and blood into the works (going beyond just the ‘cover image’ so that people would think their works looked sexy). So as I continue to ramble about these lousy writers, I have thought hard about creating a page especially for them. I called it my ‘One-Line Reviews’ page. It’s where I put a mess of collective authors whose works could not go any further beyond the ‘Slush’ pile in an editors area.In that section, I plan on listing the author, the title, and just a one line review about it. With all those books that I stash away that are often given away as freebies, I think they might be able to receive a few kind thoughts about their work, including such compliments as:
- ‘This book is cheesier than watching a full episode of ‘My Little Pony’
- ‘Your book could not get any more authentic than claiming that it was written by George Lucas’
- Congratulations, you are 7,865,231th clone of the Twilight Saga, can you get any less original?
- ‘Your book sounds worse than going to a strip club with an ape; at least she doesn’t write about the hairy details’
I would probably save myself a lot more time than piecing a 500 word critique spelling out all the kinds of mistakes their books have and give them a more insightful look at their concept overall. While some of these might be a ROFL moment, were you to read the junk I’m reading, I think you’ll understand why.